I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
