After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
