Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
