I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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