ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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