I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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