Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can't turn off my feet"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
