so explain again why im purple
no
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
