I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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