Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
