Farmville is her only friend.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
