Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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