shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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