At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
