So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
