Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
