why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
