whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
