I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
