8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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