She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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