After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
