i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
