we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
