Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
