she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
honey bunches of taint.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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