and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Welp...herpes.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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