i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
