Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This is the high leading the old right now
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
