I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't notice because vodka
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
