hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
