addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
