Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
