Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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