I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
