her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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