I got chris browned last night
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
