I'm eating all of the evidence.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
