I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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