I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
