I want to have your abortion
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
