Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
