someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
