Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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