I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
