I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
