But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
