Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
