grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
