i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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